Thursday, September 04, 2008

I am pissed off

I am sooo pissed off right now so fair warning this post may offend.

I went to weight watchers and i gained .6 kilos (1.3 pounds) I am just so pissed off at everything right now.

I am pissed off because i eat right, i go for walks, i do everything i'm supposed to do and i still fucking gain weight. I am just beyond upset at the moment.

I am pissed off at skinny people who think they are sooo fat.
I am pissed off at this chair because it's fucking missing a wheel on it and i feel like i have to balance my fat ass.
I am pissed off at my husband for getting mad at me for not going for a walk last night
I am pissed off at myself now for not going for that walk.
I am pissed off at myself for being an emotional eater and as soon as i found out the result on the scale i grabbed my stuff and rushed home and made a cheese burger and scarfed it down like it was the last cheese burger i would ever eat.
I am pissed off that i am so far away from my mom because i really need her right now
I am pissed off at myself for failing another week
I am pissed off that i'm home alone right now and could really use a hug
I am pissed off that i'm being such a baby about this
I am pissed off that i put myself in this situation by eating so much and being so damn lazy which lead me to being this fat in the first place.
I am so pissed off that i am crying right now.
I am pissed off at everyone treating my mom like shit
I am so pissed off

4 <3 me:

melyssa. said...

The part of me that is so extremely you wants to tell you she understands and that nothing she says can make you feel better right now...

...except for the fact that I'm failing right now before I've even tried.

At least you're not going to go down without a fight.

You're gorgeous, love, and you're allowed to be you.

Don't be ashamed.


~Melyssa xxx

floridagirlinsydney said...

Mindy, they can't all be great weeks-- so a little setback-- you are beautiful (like seriously, in a gorgeous way) and I hope you know that.

floridagirlinsydney said...

my motherfucking internet is not working again-- I've run out!! how is this possible-- can you send me the name of your internet company before I jump out the window?

Breigh (Canadutch) said...

I'm so glad I found this blog. I think we have quite a lot in common. I have also struggled with depression and have anxiety issues when it comes to going out and dealing with people.
I am also an expat. A Canadian living in the Netherlands.
I have had 2 jobs here and both ended due to me having the same reactions as you have had at your work.
I have weight issues, which I've tried to deal with various times but at the moment am in 'oh the hell with it' mode... but know I need to do something soon.

I just read the list and I shit you not, there were times where you could have plucked that very list out of my head.